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Stats: 12,775 members, 4,712 topics. Date: May 22, 2017, 10:23 pm
This write up is not in anyway an attempt to mock God or any ministry, but just to add laughter to our faces and praise the Almighty God, who so much loves us. Though we are many (different parts), we belongs to one body (God). Relax and enjoy.
1). HOLY SWAG MINISTRIES: These ministries believes that you must be filled with the Holy Ghost and have swag to prove that truly the lord is good. Their fashion sense does not have part two. They preach powerful messages, they change lives and raise pace-setters. Their young men are actually achieving greatness in life. I pray to God to increase their swag and strengthen their ministers in Jesus name, amen. Examples: Harvesters (Hicc), Christ Embassy, Daystar, Covenant Christians Centre etc.
2) BLOOD OF JESUS/HOLY GHOST MINISTRIES: These ministries does not play with the blood of Jesus and Holy Ghost fire. They must sprinkle the blood before sitting and standing. They greet their neighbours with the blood. They have finished the blood of Jesus, it is only remaining the blood of God. I pray their fire will not be quenched by any power of darkness in Jesus name, amen. Examples: MFM, CAC, LIBERATION CITY ETC.
3) NO SHOE MINISTRIES: Well, these ministries is very special because our dear President was once a member of these ministries before he was called to a higher ministry of designer shoes. I thank God we are not all in these ministries because it will have been a different story for those who finds themselves in the shoe making ministry like our brothers in Aba. Praise God. I pray their labour of faith will not be in vain in Jesus name, amen. Examples Cele, C&S, O.O.OBU.
4). HOLINESS/HOLY THAN THOU MINISTRIES: I pray the next technological invention will be holiness scanner, to help these ministries to identify those stubborn members who does not want to be holy despite the effort of the pastors. Their only agenda is to make everyone holy. In their posters, you will see something like; holiness heals Ebola. I pray their garment of holiness will not be stained before the coming of Christ in Jesus name. Amen. Examples: Deeper life, Redeemed, Lords Chosen etc.
5). THE YOUNG SHALL GROW MINISTERIES: These are the new ministries we normally finds in shops, backyards and under tent etc. We really needs to show love and support to these set of ministries though we might not worship with them. A times situation of things and frustration of life can make one to give up and refuse to answer his or her callings. I want to encourage them not to give up and keeps trusting in God, though sorrow may endure for the night joy will surely comes in the morning. The beginning might be tough but there is always light at the end of every tunnel in life. I pray the joy of the lord continued to be your strength in Jesus name, amen.
Examples: name them
6). SPIRITUAL DELIVERANCE MINISTRIES: these ground are holy warfront that even the devil is aware. They don't joke with evil spirits. Any evil spirit that try it, has entered one chance. Their deliverance and boxing are almost the same. If you doubt me if them a try. To the glory of God people are sharing wonderful testimonies of what God has done for them through these ministries. I pray the anointing of God upon these ministries shall never runs dry in Jesus name, amen. Examples: Synagogue, Mercyland, Liberation City etc.
7). OLD TIMES RELIGION MINISTRIES: We bless God for these ministries who have sustained their doctrines since AD till date. They don't joke with their doctrines and are not threatened by what Pentecostal are doing. That's standard. I pray God help them to sustain these doctrines till the coming of the bride of the church in Jesus name, amen. Examples: Catholic, Anglican, Methodist, Lutheran etc.
cool. SEVENTH DAY MINISTRIES: These ministries don't have their services on Sunday. It is on Saturday that people normally relax they will be having their programs. I thank God for the great and mighty works they are doing. I pray God will grant all their heart desires in Jesus name, amen. Examples: Seventh day Adventists, Sabbath etc.
9). PROSPERITY MINISTRIES: These ministries believes that money is very essential if the gospel of Christ must get to the end of the earth. They teach kingdom prosperity principles which has been evidence in the lives of their followers who practice the principles. Though people keeps critising them, they keeps doing what God has called them to do without giving a d*mn about what people are saying. I pray their source will never runs dry in Jesus name, amen. Examples: Faith Tabernacle, Trem, Christ Embassy etc.
10). END TIME ARMIES MINISTRIES: truly, these people are the real end time armies because of the type of risks they normally take just to get the gospel across to every homes. Some of them have been embarrassed, harassed and assaulted but they refused to give up. They walks miles, visits anywhere they can fine human beings. They go to junctions and street corners just to share the knowledge of Gods word. They are not ashame of the gospel. They denied themselves good things of life just to win souls for Christ. I pray God will continue to guide their footsteps and direct their path in Jesus name, amen. Examples: Jehovah Witnesses, Deeper Life, Assemblies of God. Add yours.
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